P R O C R A S T E R R I F I C!

Who Is Hannibal Burress?

2011-01-14T12:34:00.000-06:00

He's funny, that's what. Courtesy of Aziz Ansari's Aziz Is Bored, check out this video of Hannibal Burress performing on David Letterman:

As Aziz notes, the video quality sucks, but the comedy is worth it. Check out his album My Name is Hannibal. According to Wikipedia, Hannibal was born in 1983 in a funny way, leading to a life of comedy... or something like that:

Hannibal Buress (born 1983) is an American stand-up comedian and television writer currently living in New York City.

Buress was featured in "The Awkward Comedy Show" special on Comedy Central, alongside comics Baron Vaughn, Eric André, Marina Franklin, and Victor Varnado, and on the FX sitcom Louie. In July 2010, Buress made Variety magazine's "Ten Comics to Watch in 2010" list.

His first stand-up comedy album "My Name is Hannibal" was released on July 27, 2010.
Buress was a writer on Saturday Night Live from 2009-2010. In September 2010, he began writing for the fifth season of the NBC comedy series 30 Rock.

His stand-up comedy has been featured on Comedy Central programs such as Live at Gotham and John Oliver's New York Stand Up Show. He has also performed on several late night talkshows such as The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, Lopez Tonight, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and The Late Show with David Letterman.

Hopefully he pulls a Mindy Kaling or a Conan and makes the jump from writer to feature actor on '30 Rock.' Like, they could have him come on as a competitor for Tracy Morgan's spot or something. Ah, Tracy Morgan... the king of random almost-dumb but can actually be pretty smart comedy. Anyway, I ramble. Just check out the Hannibal clip above... and yea, everyone hates obnoxious cellphone users, don't they?

Top 5 Inspirational Commencement Speeches

2011-01-10T17:32:00.000-06:00

In no particular order, here are some commencement speeches that not only served as a capstone to a collegiate career but provided lasting words to guide the graduate's future endeavors, both professional and personal.

Oprah Winfrey, Stanford University, 2008

Steve Jobs, Stanford University, 2005

Randy Pausch, Carnegie Mellon University, 2008

Larry Page, Michigan University, 2009

William H. Gates, Harvard University, 2007

To summarize the key points from all these speeches.... well, it's the collected wisdom of some of the most successful people of our times. I may not be up for the task, but here goes!

Dream Big
Build The Future
If you build it, they will come
Never ever, ever, ever give up
Always focus on the road ahead
You only fail if you fail to try
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Haha, okay, so one of those may have come from Will Ferrell's speech, but you get the point. The visionaries of the world most likely do not have any better vision than the rest of us. What they do have is the audacity to go after their dreams and the tenacity to see that vision through. To boldly go where other men have gone before but failed, perhaps. Regardless, it's a wide wide world out there and you have to make your way in it. As Joseph Campbell said, if you want to know what to follow, follow your bliss...

Ed Helms Stars In The Midwest's Hangover AKA Cedar Rapids

2010-12-23T19:55:00.000-06:00

Ed Helms is the man. Whether you know him from The Daily Show, The Office, or of course The Hangover, he just brings it every time. He hasn't quite reached Jim Carrey, Will Ferrell or Steve Carrell status, but he's getting there fast. Just check out this trailer for Cedar Rapids:

This just has classic Midwest comedy written all over it, something like a funnier version of Fargo or Up In The Air. And, of course, John C. Reilly. The dude just rocks it in every film he's in, and doesn't get enough credit. Whether it's comedy or serious drama stuff, the guy just is awesome. He really needs to get an Oscar sooner rather than later. Him and Christian Bale - what gives, old Academy peeps? Are they just not kissing up enough? You HAVE to give them props for just... the body of work those two have put together. Life is sort of unfair at times; the Oscars seem to always be. Whatever, this movie is gonna rock regardless - you can have your silly awards; I'll take a funny movie over that any day.

SNL's "I Just Had Sex" Is Funny - But Is It Derivative?

2010-12-19T20:23:00.000-06:00

On SNL's last episode of 2010, they of course had a new song/digital short by Andy Samberg & Co aka The Lonely Island guys entitled "I Just Had Sex"

According to Wikipedia:

The Lonely Island is an American comedy troupe composed of Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone, and Andy Samberg, best known for its musical parodies. The group is from Berkeley, CA, and is currently based in New York City. The group began creating live comedy skits in junior high school and continued to do so, expanding its repertoire to comedic shorts, music parody (both songs and videos), and one full-length television pilot, before coming to the attention of Lorne Michaels of Saturday Night Live (SNL). Once on the show, they wrote "Lazy Sunday," a better-produced music parody video much like the group's previous work. It became an instant internet success, and led to the creation of similar digital shorts that also aired on Saturday Night Live. The Emmy-winning "Dick in a Box", "Jizz in My Pants", "Like a Boss" and the Grammy-nominated "I'm on a Boat" have subsequently had huge success both on the show and on the internet and prompted the recording and release of an album, Incredibad, in which the group moves in a more musical direction.

In August 2007, the group premiered its first feature film, Hot Rod.

So, yea, the guys are the real deal, having made some of the most popular sketches in SNL history. Here,
obviously Akon is featured, but did you catch John McEnroe, Jessica Alba, and Blake Lively? Props, guys, props.

However, one lil thing bugged me. You all know Katy Perry, right? That's I Kissed A Girl... and then I met Russell Brand... and then I got married yet continue to tease every red-blooded male from 19 to 90 with my provocative poses/outfits but I ain't gonna go out like Britney Katy Perry. Yes, that Katy Perry. Anyway, she ( Katy Perry that is, not Britney) also recently released "Firework," a music video all about having sex... err, self-empowerment:

Notice any similarities? Is "I Just Had Sex" derivative of Perry's song, or at least music video? You decide!

Brad Pitt's New Movie The Tree of Life's Trailer

2010-12-15T16:58:00.000-06:00

The trailer for his next film "The Tree of Life" co-starring Sean Penn just dropped.

I cannot help but think that Brad Pitt gets no respect. He does good work in good movies a la George Clooney, yet receives few nominations and even fewer awards. Granted, I think guys like Clooney and Damon are better, but what gives? The man was awesome in Snatch and made good movies in Ocean's 11, Seven Years in Tibet, Babel, and Inglorious Basterds. Yet, somehow, his two Oscar nominations are for 12 Monkeys and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button -- what??? How does that make any sense?

Oh well - he probably has the biggest prize of them all anyway - Angelina Jolie ;-) Haha, or maybe she has him...

Josh Groban: 60th Annual Emmy Awards

2008-09-22T20:38:00.001-05:00

Josh Groban was familiar to me only for that "You Raise Me Up" song, but this medley at the Emmy's was pretty impressive. Not just for his singing skills, but his imitations. I hope he goes on to be a more general entertainer vs. just staying a singer.

Wii Mario Galaxy

2008-09-21T17:11:00.001-05:00

I know it's been out for a while now, but still looks pretty cool. Heh, a long way from the Mario I used to play on my GameBoy back in the day...

Old Spice - Ice Cream Cone

2008-09-11T09:46:00.001-05:00

LOL. It's so true. Poor girls... they just want to eat the ice cream... just lick the yummy yummy ice cream... mmm...

Why every guy should buy their girlfriend Wii Fit.

2008-09-09T23:11:00.001-05:00

The video that started it all for Wii Fit. Who knew such a simple little video could go viral so fast? Oh yea... *that* guy knew. Heh.

Baby laughing at the Wii

2008-09-09T21:47:00.001-05:00

Why do I find babies playing / watching the Wii so funny? Heh, who knows, but you can't deny the babies just eat this Wii stuff up.

Wee Wii Mii - 22-month old video gamer

2008-09-09T21:44:00.002-05:00

The best part is when he's so excited that he falls down =)

Sam the Cooking guy tells Kathie Lee and Hoda be quiet

2008-08-15T23:01:00.001-05:00

Watch a man commit career suicide in real-time. I agree with him, but still.. not smart, career-wise.

Randy Pausch Inspires Graduates

2008-08-15T20:43:00.001-05:00

A follow up to the original "Last Lecture"

Nike Ad: Michael Jordan - Failure

2008-08-15T20:41:00.003-05:00

I was thinking about this video recently, and then a friend mentioned it, so I just had to post it.

Randy Pausch Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams

2008-08-15T20:41:00.001-05:00

Randy Pausch's "Last Lecture" is a definite must watch for everyone. Sadly, he passed away yesterday July 25, 2008.

Streakers Love Story

2008-07-15T21:25:00.001-05:00

Two streakers fall in love online and meet for the first time... while streaking! LOL, I can't believe this was actually on the local news somewhere.

Breakin' and Poppin'

2008-07-03T18:20:00.001-05:00

Alfonso Ribiero (aka Carlton Banks) presenting his Breakin' and Poppin' break dancing / rapping video.

The Carlton Banks Dance

2008-07-03T18:19:00.001-05:00

The one, the only Carlton Banks, dancing to "It's Not Unusual" by Tom Jones - a compilation.

Sneakiest Soccer Goal Ever

2008-06-24T21:10:00.001-05:00

Heh, is this even legal? I guess it is...

Varm It

2008-06-02T22:48:00.001-05:00

Heh, not quite Sandy Beaches, but funny in its own right =)

Sandy Beaches

2008-06-02T22:37:00.001-05:00

LOL, just watch it. I love sandy beaches! Just gotta look out for those crabs...

The Comprehensive O'Reilly Rant Post

2008-05-22T11:06:00.003-05:00

Instead of having to hunt for the original O'Reilly clip, his response, and all the (good) spoofs, I decided to put them all in one post:

The Original O'Reilly Rant:

Stephen Colbert's Defense of O'Reilly:

O'Reilly's Producer's Point of View:

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Olbermann Analyzes O'Reilly's Body Language:

Olbermann brings on a "body language analyst" to break down O'Reilly's every move in his infamous rant:

O'Reilly's Rant - DANCE REMIX:

Hahaha, this is actually a little catchy. Just a little, though.

Bill O'Reilly's Producer's View

2008-05-16T21:58:00.004-05:00

You've heard Bill O'Reilly's rant. Now hear the producer's side of things:

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Heh, I bet this is how the real producer wish he had responded.

Olbermann Analyzes O'Reilly's Body Language

2008-05-16T21:53:00.004-05:00

Olbermann brings on a "body language analyst" to break down O'Reilly's every move in his infamous rant:

Coulda been funnier, but what's sad there's probably some truth in what she said.

Baby Fight Club

2008-05-16T12:53:00.003-05:00

Kinda cute

They should redo this with slightly older kids. Babies that young tend to play by themselves instead of with others.

Ron Burgundy Interviews Tom Brokaw

2008-05-15T11:01:00.000-05:00

Ron Burgundy interviews the most distinguished anchorman of our time at Radio City Music Hall during the Funny Or Die Tour. Look out for the ninjas, Tom!

Bill O'Reilly Flips Out — DANCE REMIX

2008-05-15T10:51:00.002-05:00

Here is the dance remix version of the Bill O'Reilly Flip Out:

Hahaha, this is actually a little catchy. Just a little, though.

John Edwards Endorses Barack Obama

2008-05-14T20:48:00.003-05:00

When Two Americas Met Hope...

Tyra Banks Tells Hillary Clinton To Get Out Of The Race

2008-05-14T17:33:00.003-05:00

Ooo Tyra! You GO girl!

... and of course, Hillary teared up. How predicatable =P

Stephen Colbert's Defends Bill O'Reilly and His Rant

2008-05-14T17:01:00.003-05:00

Stephen Colbert rushed to the defense of 'Papa Bear' after yesterday's rant by Bill O'Reilly spread across the internet, and even released some of his own old footage:

Hahaha, gotta love Colbert pranking on Brian Williams.

LeBron James Yells At His Mom

2008-05-13T20:57:00.004-05:00

LeBron James got wrapped up by Paul Pierce on Monday's game, when a woman from the crowd tried to break things up:

According to USA Today, that woman was LeBron's mom!

Ms. James came roaring into the action in the second quarter when her son was wrapped up on a breakaway dunk attempt by Paul Pierce.

Kevin Garnett tried to calm her down, but it was LeBron who got the job done.

"I told her to sit down, in some language I shouldn't have used," James said. "Thank God today wasn't Mother's Day. All I could think about is her. ... I know my mother. It's fine, we're good."

Bill O'Reilly Flips Out While Hosting Inside Edition

2008-05-12T22:06:00.001-05:00

Can't find it on youtube? Check out the clip of Bill O'Reilly flipping out here:

Maybe - New Michael Jordan Commercial

2008-05-11T12:42:00.001-05:00

I don't know why, but Nike (and Apple) commercials are just head and shoulders above most other companies out there.

Top 20 Jay Leno Headlines

2008-05-10T09:14:00.001-05:00

Heh, the one with the couple in bed is pretty good.

John Mayer - Bear Suit

2008-05-09T17:24:00.001-05:00

I havw a whole new level of respect for John Mayer. What a kickass idea.

Charles Barkley Is The Real Ron Burgundy

2008-05-08T10:47:00.001-05:00

Wow. Charles is hilarious. He really is just grown up kid. Still, can't believe he actually read that, but I can kind of understand how anyone would.

Boomerang on Space Station

2008-05-05T07:33:00.001-05:00

I'm so glad we are spending billions of dollars for this cutting-edge research...

Suleman Mirza - Signature - Britains Got Talent

2008-05-04T23:52:00.001-05:00

Haha, awesome act. Make sure you watch the whole routine to the end.

Old School - So good when it hits your lips!

2008-05-04T13:02:00.001-05:00

Spanish (Rick Gonzalez): "Come hit this right here! You need to hit this!"
Frank: "No, I appreciate it, but I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight. Besides, I got a big day tomorrow, but but you guys have a great time."
Spanish: "Big day, doing what?"
Frank: "Well, um, actually a pretty nice little saturday, we're um, we're gonna go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed Bath And Beyond, I don't know. I Don't know if we'll have enough time."
Kids: "(Laughing)"
Frank: "Ok, you know what, you know what, gimmie that thing. I'll do one, I'll do one!"
Spanish: "He's gonna do one."
Frank: "I'll do one."
Spanish: "Now' that's a talented man right there. That's what I'm talking about!"
Frank: "Fill it up again!"
Kids: "(Cheering)"
Frank: "It's so good! Once it hit's your lips, It's so good!"

Matt Damon Does Matthew McConaughey

2008-04-28T00:28:00.001-05:00

Hahaha, Matt Damon is so dead on. As Letterman notes, strong work!

David Cross - "Pre-Taped Call-In Show"

2008-04-09T19:13:00.001-05:00

It could never work. Just think about it. However, makes for a great sketch, esp. the end.

Ass Pennies For Confidence

2008-04-09T19:00:00.001-05:00

"You think you're better than me??? Well your pennies have been in my ass!" Hahaha, it sounds weird at first, and... well, it remains weird, but funny.

Asian Girl Rocking Out To "Carry On Wayward Son"

2008-04-06T10:09:00.001-05:00

I'm worried for her. As aweseome as this was, I fear parental disownment after the recital.

Kevin Love amazing practice shots 2008

2008-03-29T21:24:00.001-05:00

Is Kevin Love f'real??? This is just like the LeBron commercial, except... NOT FAKE.

Sure, he may be slow and have bad knees, but if he can shoot the ball that effortlessly from all over the court, K-Love should easily be a lottery pick if not #1.

Kobe's ridiculous pass

2008-03-29T21:23:00.001-05:00

Love 'im or hate 'im, you gotta respect Kobe Bryant's skills. What a sick pass!

Ukraine is game to you!?

2008-02-07T14:56:00.001-06:00

Hehe, playing Risk/Attack always makes me think of this clip. Gotta love 'Seinfeld.'

Vinod Gupta: Mr. Salesgenie

2008-02-07T00:03:00.000-06:00

By now, most of America has been offended to some degree by the Salesgenie Superbowl commercial, if not in 2008, then in 2007. Here's the ad from this year's Superbowl:

Even the New York Times weighed in, noting that the ad had been pulled from the air. But how on earth could a produce such ridiculously racist ads?

“We never thought anyone would be offended,” said Mr. Gupta, who developed and wrote both commercials himself.
“The pandas are Chinese,” he said. “They don’t speak German.”
Still, “if I offended anybody,” Mr. Gupta said, “believe me, I apologize.”

Oh, I know now: the CEO Mr. Gupta WROTE THEM HIMSELF! What kind of CEO does his companies' ads, especially for the Superbowl? This guy is so out of touch, it's just sad. For more evidence, check out the other two Salesgenie Superbowl ads, the first from 2008, the latter from 2007:

So how can an obviously immigrant CEO not only tolerate but perpetuate this?

Mr. Gupta said he planned to keep running the other Salesgenie commercial, featuring an animated salesman named Ramesh who speaks with an Indian or other South Asian accent.
The reason, Mr. Gupta said, was that “more people seem upset about the pandas than Ramesh.”
“People have been making fun of my accent for years,” said Mr. Gupta, who described himself in the interview as half-Indian and half-Jewish. “And I love it.”

HE LOVES IT! Sigh... you have to admit though, as bad as these ads are, he's getting tons of free publicity off of it, much moreso than if I had had... I dunno... dancing lizards and a washed-up supermodel. In closing, any thoughts for your 2009 ad, Mr. Gupta?

Despite the response to this year’s ads, Mr. Gupta said he wanted to return to the Super Bowl next year because the commercials had generated millions in revenue for Salesgenie.
“Maybe next year, no audio,” he added, “so I don’t offend anybody.”

The Dark Knight Trailer. IN LEGO!!!

2008-02-06T11:40:00.001-06:00

Well done, especially in its faithfulness to the trailer. But geesh, some people have a lot of time on their hands...

Tiddy Bear - Funny Infomercial

2008-02-05T23:55:00.001-06:00

I really hope this is not a real product, but sadly, I wouldn't be too surprised if it was real. I wonder if they'll have a follow-up product, like the "pussy cat" waist seatbelt pressure reliever...

Paula Abdul's Midlife Crisis, Televised

2008-02-04T20:31:00.000-06:00

Paula Abdul's midlife crisis is something else. Of course, midlife crises are sad. But most take place in the privacy of one's home, affecting only the ones closest to the delusional midlifer. Sadly, Paula's midlife crisis and atrocious dancing was televised to a billion people or so:

At least there wasn't another meltdown?

Top 5 Paula Abdul Meltdowns

2008-02-03T09:00:00.000-06:00

Paula Abdul is constantly having meltdowns. As discussed previously, Paula Abdul is crazy, so this really should not come as any surprise. However, the previous episodes of craziness could perhaps have been written off as either lack-of-sleep-induced, or perhaps even substance-related, but these clips show that it's really just pure Paula!

5. Paula Abdul Has a Radio Job Meltdown

4. Paula Abdul Has a Hair and Makeup Meltdown

3. Paula Abdul Has an Assistant Meltdown

2. Paula Abdul Has a Bratz Meltdown

1. Paula Abdul Has a QVC Meltdown

Clearly, the world is conspiring against Paula Abdul. Poor Paula. She only makes millions of dollars saying nice things to bad singers on TV. Oh, how could life get any harder for her!

BONUS Paula Abdul Decorating Meltdown

Don't Call This Man "Four Eyes"

2008-01-28T12:09:00.001-06:00

This optician just loses it after a reporter questions whether he was cheating people who bought eyeglasses from him. The reporter is 75 years old!

Reporter attacked by kids

2008-01-28T12:08:00.001-06:00

Loser reporter gets attacked by kids, and then CONTINUES to be pelted by them. He must have had flashbacks as this happened to his own childhood... when he used to be attacked by all the other neighborhood kids. Ah, sweet memories.

Bjork attacks reporter

2008-01-28T12:06:00.001-06:00

Bjork apparently wants to wear this reporter around her neck at next year's Oscars. Man, I have never seen a celeb just lose it like this at a reporter, especially after such an innocuous question.

Dwight Howard's Top 10 Career Dunks

2008-01-26T01:10:00.001-06:00

...whoa. Dwight Howard's scary, and his best years are probably ahead of him. Can you imagine him on a team like the Suns???

Bird Poops On Reporter

2008-01-25T09:28:00.001-06:00

"Guess I should have seen that coming..." Well, I guess you shouldn't be such an idiot. I mean, you just got pooped on. WHY would you decide that it's a good idea to look up?

Norm MacDonald on Conan

2008-01-24T10:52:00.001-06:00

So here's the other clip (also from the Sports Guy Collection. You gotta watch all the way to the end: he just destroys Courtney Thorne-Smith.

Norm on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart - 09-14-06

2008-01-24T10:50:00.001-06:00

I got this off of the Sport's Guy links page. Norm McDonald is the only guy I've seen whose made both Jon Stewart AND Conan totally lose their shit during interviews. This is so wrong, but it's just too funny. I'll try to find the other Norm clip.

Father of Jesus

2008-01-23T09:13:00.001-06:00

Denzel is too badass.

"What'd you say? What? Yea, I can't hear you" Hahaha.

Amare Stoudemire with the powerful jam over Sean Williams!

2008-01-21T13:40:00.001-06:00

Stoudemire is just too strong near the hole. Talk about a power dunk. They should just stick him near the basket on all possessions and lob it up to him. It's not like he's out there for his defense or 3 pt shooting skills or anything.

Barack Obama Speaks at Dr. King's Church

2008-01-21T11:47:00.001-06:00

The video speaks for itself.

Sick Puppies - all the same ( free hugs)

2008-01-21T10:00:00.001-06:00

This Jesus-like figure decided to launch a campaign of free hugs. Either this is a wonderful statement about the power of human interaction, or this is the most diabolical plan to get all up on young teen girls at the mall I've ever seen. Seriously, this guy is a walking sexual harrassment lawsuit. Not that he is harrassing anyone, but you just know someone's gonna take it the wrong way.

HuckChuckFacts

2008-01-21T01:01:00.001-06:00

So help us Baby Jesus, this man wants to be President. To be fair, this is actually a pretty funny ad, relatively to the typical candidate's ads, but still... the ad just made me want to vote for Chuck Norris if anything.

Nate Robinson with the big put-back slam!

2008-01-21T00:43:00.001-06:00

He's 5 foot NINE!!! That's just nuts.

Conan vs. Colbert

2008-01-18T21:52:00.001-06:00

Hahaha, this is awesome. Colbert is awesome. Conan is awesome. What makes this particularly hilarious though is that unlike the 'fake' strike b/t The Daily Show and Colbert, these guys are on different networks, so it's clearly just for laughs (vs for ratings). I hope Colbert continues the "feud."

The Office: Gun Show

2008-01-18T16:42:00.001-06:00

This is what I ask myself every morning when I look into the mirror. Have you got *your* tickets yet?

Monopoly Guy Shawshank Redemption Parody

2008-01-17T13:14:00.001-06:00

Poor Monopoly Guy... I wonder if he used the wheelbarrow or the top hat to escape from prison.

Indian Sweet Child of Mine

2008-01-05T10:18:00.001-06:00

I especially like the line at the end. He reminds me of the Indian guy in those movies with Luke and Owen Wilson. I gotta admit, this came out pretty well. When I first clicked, I thought the video would be a disaster, but I think I have a soft spot for fusion music. Some Western stuff sounds pretty kickass on a sitar/tabla.

How Not to Start an Interview

2007-12-28T09:38:00.001-06:00

What's sad is that I initially thought this was a joke, like Punk'd or something. But no, the girl is really just that dumb. Good God, you're an entertainment reporter. To prepare, all you have to do is google "imdb [enter subject's name here]". This girl isn't even hot enough to justify being this stupid. It's times like these that my faith in natural selection wans, especially in social arenas. Shouldn't she have been out of a job ages ago? But don't get too haughty, Creationists, because this certainly was not intelligent design.

Dancer vs. Toddler: FIGHT!

2007-12-22T11:49:00.001-06:00

Who do you think will win in this epic match-up? Umm... my money's on the dancer. Poor toddler.

You Kicked My Dog

2007-12-17T23:09:00.001-06:00

Since the paranoid guy reminded me of this, here is Kerpal's You Kicked My Dog. Still funny, nearly 10 years later.. sigh, I feel old.

Indian Guy Has Panic Attack On A Plane

2007-12-17T22:56:00.000-06:00

Indian Guy Has Panic Attack on Plane - Watch more free videos

As hilarious as this is, this is kind of sad. He is clearly having some kind of paranoid delusional episode, but no one seems to be really trying to help him other than restraining him. I like that one guy who is like "If you do not remain calm, we will not give you water." Right... like threatening him with keeping him from water is going to make him less paranoid.

Heh, you also gotta love it when fobby Indian bust outta nowhere cursing. You just can't beat it for laugh value. Ah, reminds me of "You Kicked My Dog"

eBay Scammer on Judge Judy

2007-12-17T12:16:00.001-06:00

While Judge Judy (or JJ as I shall refer to her) is correct, I love how chauvinistic she is, assuming that this woman is too dumb to come up with the scam herself and that her husband did it

JJ: "Why are you here? Where's your husband?"
Woman: "Uh, the auction was in my name"

JJ: "He's a coward for sending you..."

JJ: "I can't believe he permit you to do this..."

Way to send female criminals back 50 years, JJ.

Simpsons - Homer's Picture a Day for 39 Years

2007-12-17T10:25:00.001-06:00

Heh, I like the ending the best. That kitten on that toilet is hilarious!

Dave Chappelle: Ashton Kutcher and Jeopardy Poems

2007-12-14T19:32:00.000-06:00

Heh, Chappelle's still got it...

It's pretty true what he's saying about Punk'd. I haven't watched it a lot, but every time I've seen it and there's a black person involved, the cops are somehow in it as well. Coincidence? You decide...

More Harold and Kumar 2 Trailer Info

2007-12-07T18:42:00.001-06:00

There is a new R-rated Harold and Kumar 2 trailer up over at firstshowing.net. It shows a lot more than the first trailer, and gives some explanation as to how H&K get in trouble, where they go after they do, and what happens after that. And of course, a few insta-classic Neil Patrick Harris lines. The trailer is somewhat of a plot spoiler, but... c'mon, who's watching H&K2 for the plot anyway?

Flash mobs :: Japanese Style

2007-12-06T14:23:00.000-06:00

My favorite one is the second to last one...

George Carlin - Religion is Bullshit

2007-09-22T15:12:00.000-05:00

While Carlin puts his ideas in a slightly more crass form than I would, I think he does have several valid points which have long confounded me about organized religion, especially the Christian form of it. That conception of God is just too contradictory to me. Does He love me? Or is He just waiting for me to trip up so He can send me to Hell? If He's so all-powerful, why did He make a world that's so messed up? Basically, why's He messing with all of us???

NBC's 'The Office' Summer Vacation

2007-09-01T11:28:00.000-05:00

'The Office' is too good. It's back on the air in late September I believe. Three more weeks...

Chris Rock on the 2008 Election

2007-08-20T22:11:00.000-05:00

I remember watching this live, but I'd forgotten how hilarious it was. Chris Rock's still got it...

"To those who ask if we're ready for a black President, I say, Why not?
...We just had a retarded one!" -Chris Rock

LOL

Harold and Kumar 2 Trailer

2007-08-19T17:01:00.001-05:00

Finally, the trailer to the long anticipated Harold and Kumar 2 finally hits. I for one cannot wait.

Obama Defends Himself Against Rivals

2007-08-19T09:33:00.001-05:00

A short AP story summarizing the topics discussed in the Democratic candidates' debate last night. Senator Obama again seemed to draw the most fire for being the only candidate to make original/provocative statement in the campaign.

read more | digg story

While Netflix Lowers Their Rates, Blockbuster Online Raises Theirs...A Lot

2007-08-18T23:37:00.001-05:00

Netflix recently lowered their rates for their 3-disc plan to $16. Blockbuster's response? Raise their rates by 40% of course! "I just got an email an hour or so ago from Blockbuster Online telling me that the 3 movies and unlimited in store exchanges for $17.99 plan that I am on was going away." It will now cost $25/month.

How dumb is this? A company like Blockbuster should know better. At least offer some additional services or something for the price hike. Ridiculous!

read more | digg story

Bonus Joga Bonito Videos

2007-08-06T23:05:00.000-05:00

Joga Bonito: Henri

Joga Bonito: Kobe Bryant

Joga Bonito: Skills

All the Nike Joga Bonito Videos

2007-08-06T22:40:00.000-05:00

They're so good, you might as well watch them all at once.

Joga Bonito Episode 1

Who is Eric Cantona? Why is he so mad? He's like a rebel without a cause... "mes ami! together, we will change everything! ... now here are some videos" Still, gotta love the videos.

Joga Bonito Episode 2: Forward, My Friends!

This clip reminded me of Maradona's famous goal where he took it down the field all by himself from midfield.

Joga Bonito Episode 3: The Team Game

Team Brasil soccer at its best...

Joga Bonito Episode 4: The Big Cup

Joga Bonito Episode 5: Make The Ball Happy

Joga Bonito Episode 6: Brazilian Ping Pong

Joga Bonito Episode 7: Ronaldo R9

Joga Bonito Episode 8: Fistful of Goals

Joga Bonito Episode 9: Rooney's Heart

Eh, yea, Rooney is good at soccer, but he seems like an angry, cheap player. He got kicked out of the World Cup for basically kneeing some guy in the balls for no good reason.

Joga Bonito Episode 10: Ronaldinho Joy!

Joga Bonito Episode 11: Team Brazil!

Joga Bonito Episode 12: C. Ronaldo v. Zlatan

Joga Bonito Episode 13: Three Brazilians and a Ball

Thanks to all the youtubers who uploaded these videos.

Ted Turner - World's Oldest Pimp

2007-08-05T15:32:00.000-05:00

Ted Turner's Big Love

I love how this author tries to act as if his wife leaving him is some kind of 'artistic liberation.' Let's face it: you just got dumped for a man 100x richer than you, and now you're trying to compensate for it by saying "Oh, it must have been the Pulitzer that drove her away.... and he looks old... like a grandfather... who abused her!" What type of psycho-Freudian BS is this? Ted Turner outpimped you. Period.

O. J. Simpson is Harrassed

2007-08-03T16:13:00.000-05:00

What type of local access TV would put OJ on live TV?

This is just sad. He's now a walking joke / murderer. Even his own lawyers basically think he did it (based on what I remember Johnnie Cochran saying at an event I saw him at). Well, to be fair, it was more the telling silences of Cochran when essentially asked to defend OJ before the public. Just look at him. He's so effin guilty, and he just doesn't care. "Only In America"...

Passing Failing Students

2007-08-01T23:06:00.000-05:00

Ever wonder how America manages to propagate its particularly incompetent members?

A Teacher Grows Disillusioned

How on earth can this go on? The last line is particularly telling - what kind of values does this child have? I suppose I could continue asking rhetorical questions here, but the real tragedy is that this girl even got this far. The article does not chronicle her descent into 'waste of space,' nor does it explain where she was during her chronic absences. Without knowing these facts, it is hard to put this anecdote into a proper social context. However, by itself, the story adds support to an idea espoused by Angelina Jolie (believe it or not). When asked about her adopting children, Jolie noted that she had to pass more tests to show that she was a qualified parent before adopting. Had she simply given birth (as she eventually did), the state would automatically assume she was a good parent, prima facie. Why? We as citizens must pass tests to drive, to practice medicine, law, to fly, but not to parent. If society's function is ultimately to sustain and further its own growth, shouldn't raising its future members be its most important function? And if so, should we not make sure that everyone who is entrusted with this role is fit for the job? I am not saying the government should be draconian in such training, but I think the state should mandate at least some degree of training in parenting be passed before people are entrusted with the care of the most fragile of our society's members.

[[gets off soapbox]]

Spider Pig!!!

2007-07-30T22:39:00.000-05:00

"The Simpsons Movie" was hilarious! You have to go see it. Even if you are not a huge Simpsons fan, it's funny. You don't need to know all that much about the characters for it to make sense. And of course, there's SPIDER PIG!

SUPERBAD - the full, unedited trailer

2007-07-29T22:10:00.000-05:00

Heh, I liked '40 Year Old Virgin' and 'Knocked Up,' and this looks funny, so yea..

Heh, "I *am* McLovin"

Coach, Wrong Ball

2007-07-29T12:12:00.000-05:00

Sigh.. while funny, how wrong is this? They should penalize the team and throw the coach out of the game. This is even worse than the "howl in the corner while someone takes a free throw / takes a shot" trick in basketball.

C. Ronaldo vs Zlatan

2007-07-25T22:49:00.000-05:00

Skills. All skills.

Seriously, who wins? Does anyone know?

Oh, and, this: Technorati Profile

Attorney General Gonzales vs Senator Schumer

2007-07-25T17:24:00.000-05:00

He was there on "behalf of the President." Don't you get it, Senator Schumer? I mean, seriously, how many times does AG Gonzales have to not answer and evade your question before you get it?

Sarcasm aside, isn't this just shameful? He is the primary law enforcement agent in this country, yet he is unable to answer a simple question. And as Sen. Schumer points out, he's under no privilege in the Senate. Instead of repeating himself like a broken record, AG Gonzales should at least... claim something! Heck, make up some precedent! Stonewall Jackson himself couldn't have done a better job...

Update: More lowlights from the AG's ridiculous testimony session:

John Edwards: Fighting Poverty, One Hairstyle at a Time

2007-07-24T14:59:00.000-05:00

Edwards does kind of come off as a pretty boy:

At least he has a sense of humor about it:

Maybe he should do a PR event where he visits a local barber and gets like a $10 haircut...

Overly Religious Christians are Jerks

2007-07-24T14:48:00.000-05:00

Okay, so that's a bit harsh, but why most a certain subset of them impose their religion on others? This goes for anyone of any faith who does that. A lack of tolerance does not seem particularly religious to me. In the video below, a Hindu is about to perform the daily prayers for the US Senate when he is interrupted...

How shameful.

Viral Videos

2007-07-24T14:37:00.000-05:00

Find out what videos are being shared the most across the web:

Viral Videos :: top videos by site

Viral Video Chart :: top 20 videos across the web

Top10Virals :: self-explanatory

Messi Scoring Against Mexico

2007-07-23T21:46:00.000-05:00

Extreme "competence" in soccer... ah, joga bonito, no?

I can't wait for 2010: Messi v. Robinho... it's coming...

Paula Abdul Is Crazy

2007-07-23T18:52:00.001-05:00

First, Paula has clearly lost her mind. Second, does she not realize that no one has any pity for her? She makes millions of dollars per year for acting like a ditz on some TV show. She has to "work" for like 8 hrs per session for 20 sessions or so per year. Boo hoo, Paula.

Temptation, explained?

2007-07-22T13:21:00.000-05:00

The curious economics of temptation explains 'Time Discounting,' which is a pretty interesting phenomenon that I think anyone can appreciate, but few understand. I remember taking an introductory course with Prof. Laibson and college, and I found this to be one of the more interesting parts. Maybe, in some cases of purchasing, people can't help their own incompetence... it's just built in to them.

By a similar token, Freakonomics: The Blog
takes a look at issues at where human behavior, and predicted behavior don't quite match up. The blog is an extension of the book by the same name. The book is a good read for anyone who ponders a bit about some of the vagaries of the world